I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
