Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He better not be in your backpack
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
