DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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