do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
