just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
