Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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