Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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