Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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