Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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