Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
