I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
