you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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