I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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