you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
