Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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