Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
