so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
