dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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