I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Randomize
