I smell stomach acid.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
