yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
