I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
