I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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