i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
