Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize