I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
