In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
now i know why i became what i already was.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
