So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
