High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
