I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
