I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
