you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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