Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
