Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
