I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
