He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
