I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
