He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
