There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
