Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
They have beer where we have blood.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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