4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
