Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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