So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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