Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
