Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
