If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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