somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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