do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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