So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
