last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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