She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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