I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Randomize
