her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
