Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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