Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
