when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
