If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
