dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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