you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
