i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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