I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
