Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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