maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
