that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
