Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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